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I was
visiting a friend's house recently and was intrigued by a handmade poster on
the kitchen door. It was drawn in brightly coloured wax crayons and had two
columns. On the left hand side the column was titled "Good" and had a
big smiley face next to it. Tony robbins poster
On the right
side the column was titled "Not Good" and this had a big frowning
face next to it. I studied the poster for a while and I quickly realised that
the poster was being used as a reward and recognition system for my friend's
four-year-old daughter.
I chatted
with my friends and asked them about how they used it with Leah and was very
interested to hear what they had to say. Every time that Leah did something
good, her parents rewarded her by writing down what she had done well and
putting a big smiley face next to it. They did this with her and then praised
her for it and made a big fuss out of the positive. This made her feel really
good and apparently the pleasure on her face at her sense of achievement was a
delight to see.
I noticed
that the "good" column had a long list of items and that the
"not good" column" only had two things on it. Her parents said
that they only put really unacceptable behaviour on that list and that their
strategy was to only draw attention to the positive things that Leah did. They
had discovered that by praising the positive and by offering emotional reward,
Leah responded very well to the praise and her self confidence and self esteem
had grown noticeably since they had started using this method.
They had
tried rewarding Leah with sweets and presents but they found that genuine
praise given with love and sincerity was a far more powerful for the growth of
their child (and cheaper too!).
My
conversation with Leah's parents got me thinking about motivation and I can
remember for a long time how I used to think and believe that the materialistic
motivators were the most powerful forms of encouragement. Then a few years ago
I discovered that emotional drivers are the key to motivating yourself and
others. Tony robbins poster
Humans are
emotional beings and not logical beings and so we are driven by how we feel
about things. You might think a child is driven by the need for ice cream
especially when the demand for it is given at 120 decibels in the middle of a
crowded mall on a busy Saturday afternoon. But what the child really wants are
the feelings of pleasure and satisfaction they will get from the ice cream.
They don't really want the ice cream (especially if they knew what was in it -
but that is another story!!!), all they want are the feelings that they associate
with having it. Tony robbins poster
Now I am not
discounting Personal Gain as a motivator, I have just discovered that it is not
the only factor that will drive children to do things for you and for
themselves.
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